Aug 18, 2009

The Accusation

Lily was three-and-a-half years old when we adopted her from China. She had lived her first two-and-a-half years presumably with her birth family and then another year in the orphanage.

All we had for medical records was a final check-up: Lily was in good health, ideal weight, no signs of developmental delay. There were no records of early illnesses, nor of any vaccinations, but it seemed likely that she breastfed as a baby and that her year in a poor, overcrowded orphanage had exposed her to some of the common childhood diseases.

Soon after getting home we took Lily to see the local pediatrician, a good friend of ours, Dr. O. As first time parents, we’d spent the months leading up to the adoption reading and thinking through the various issues that face all parents, including vaccinations, which we had decided against.

We live on a small island that attracts lots of off-the-grid, anti-establishment types, so Dr. O knew many anti-vaccine parents. She firmly yet respectfully advised that we reconsider. I proceeded to tell her in my most reasonable voice that we considered vaccines more poison than medicine and that we were hoping to raise Lily free of all modern pharmaceuticals, including antibiotics. After an awkward pause, Dr. O said that it was our choice to make and that was that.

Later that day I had the stark realization that I had accused our good friend of routinely poisoning thousands of children, beginning with her own. Though we remained friendly, our friendship was never the same, and I stopped accompanying Lily to her annual checkups.

Lately, we’ve been thrust back into the vaccination issue by two events: first, Lily is heading off to a college (NYU) that requires several vaccinations; second, there will soon be a major push to get Americans dosed with swine flu vaccine, with New York City students being near the front of the line.

So, I’ve been doing the Internet thing: visiting websites, reading studies, reports, opinions and commentaries, lurking in chatrooms, exchanging emails, and sometimes adding my own comments to the conversation, including a few pieces for this website.

I’ve been struck by the amount of anger and hostility on the pro-vax side, even toward parents whose children have had tragic reactions to vaccines. No matter how calm and reasoned I and others present the arguments against vaccination we can expect a slew of insults — belittling our intelligence, questioning our motives, and blaming us for every case of measles or whooping cough in the future.

I was getting increasingly frustrated and angry with “them” when I remembered my experience with Dr. O. I realize now that no matter how we present the anti-vax arguments they always come with the accusation: you — doctor or parent — are poisoning children.

Though I still consider that a mostly true statement (I accept the need for some vaccinations under specific conditions), it carries such horrible implications that it is bound to derail the best arguments, pushing most pro-vaxers into denial-bound defenses of their position. We love our children so much — it is simply beyond consideration that we poison them out of love.

The Power of Denial

Upton Sinclair, while trying to reform the American meat-packing industry, famously said, “It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his job depends on not understanding it.” To which we can add: “or when his or her actions as a parent depend on not understanding.”

Denial is an unconscious psycho-emotional reaction to knowledge which, if brought to full awareness, would threaten the status quo. When my job, family, community or nation is seriously challenged by new information, my capacity for denial allows me to simply not get it. If I’m deep enough in denial I won’t even hear about the issue.

Denial can mask the most outlandish contradictions. Any suggestions that mainstream American medicine is on the wrong course inspires vociferous attacks and jingoistic bleating about the “best healthcare on the planet.” The facts tell otherwise — by almost every metric America’s healthcare system trails dozens of other countries — but changing the system means challenging the status quo, so denial kicks in and most Americans find it difficult to understand how seriously screwed up the system is.

Unfortunately, arguments against the status quo, especially “you’re poisoning children!” types of arguments, only deepen the denial. Which is why divisive issues get so nasty — when intellectual understanding is impossible, all that’s left is emotional venting.

Inform Without Threatening

As part of her new student preparation, Lily had to fill out various medical forms, including a vaccination report. And she had to respond to NYU’s strong (but not quite mandatory) preference that she receive certain vaccinations and/or boosters.

So I found myself talking to a new pediatrician (Dr. O has retired) and then to a public health official at NYU. I knew going in that I did not want a repeat of my experience with Dr. O or in online “discussions.”

In both conversations I stressed that we were not against vaccinations. We simply did not see them as the only way to stay healthy. We asked politely that Lily be free to choose her own medical approaches.

We made clear that Lily had lived a very healthy 18 years without resort to any modern pharmaceuticals. And that Lily understood well her responsibility to manage her diet and continue with her wellness-promoting lifestyle.

I’m not sure if we changed any minds. But nobody got angry, and that’s a good beginning.

Michael Sky | CommonHealth